An Open Letter to My Truck

Dear Truck,

I'm sorry I never gave you a proper name.
I'm sorry I refer to you as a man, but dude, you are a stick shift, you are red, and sometimes you get mad at me for no apparent reason.
I don't mean to assume anything, but dude, I'm going with what you are giving me.

But seriously,
Why must you make me look like an idiot?
You may think its funny to not start up a few dozen times until I get someone.
...And then starting up the first try...
But me? Not so much.

Not funny.

I thought we were friends.
I promise to give you a bath this weekend.
I promise to not call you an asshole, a scumbag, or any other sort of bad names.
If you just please start when I want you to.

Deal?

Thanks,

Your Loving Owner and The One Who Will Kick You The Next Time You Don't Start